Letting Go

letgo-500x546There are times when life gently hands us a lesson and we either learn it or not. It’s those times that the wind changes and life’s sailboat takes an unexpected turn. Other times life lessons smash us up as if that little sailboat hit the cliffs. This one tends to be part of larger, dramatic life events – funerals, weddings, being fired, break ups, etc. And then there is the lessons in between, those that sail in on the calm ocean breeze before knocking us up against the rocks. These lessons don’t generally turn our life upside down but they usually slow things down, throw us off course, call for a bit of damage control. Even if it’s just a long, deep breath.

It seems I’ve sailed into a little rock. I haven’t crashed, thankfully, but it’s not smooth sailing. Being a Cancer, I crave security and stability. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a good adventure, I can be spontaneous and let loose, but there is a want for security, a safety kit, if you will. The fact is, sometimes the universe has other plans. So I’m on this little sailboat, and I’ve lost control a little. I’m not really freaking out, but I’m sure not feeling safe and secure. I look for comfort. Even a little bit. And I find it. Not in the way I would hope, but in knowing what the lesson is, and thus being able to consciously start to learn it. The universe is testing my ability to trust. To just be, to let go of the “shoulds” and “coulds” and “might bes”. I’ve had gentle nudges with this lesson before but I have yet to fully learn it.

I’m not one to sit around in a puddle of misery with a woe-is-me attitude. No, I’m a do-er. I know how lucky I am to be where I am and have what I have in my life. I know there’s always lessons to be learned, so I’m going to continue through life, actively learning. For me it’s never about letting go and letting life happen to me, watching it pass me by. It’s about letting go of outcomes. Taking each step toward my goals but not letting the goals take away from the process. Definitely it’s a lesson in not rushing the process. It’s about being in the process and, like I’ve said so many times to my yoga students, trusting that I am exactly where I am meant to be – both in the yoga poses I haven’t perfected as in every imperfect moment of my life.

So here I am. My career(s), love life, health and who knows what else…all hanging in some wild, unknown,  exploratory phase.  I’ve hit some rocks, but I’m still sailing, even with the gentlest flow. Even though I have no idea what’s up ahead, I’m excited about the possibilities on the horizon. I know, when the time is right, I won’t only have what I desire, but what I didn’t even realize I needed.